28: Conviction

Have your convictions remained the same over the years, despite of the many things that had happened in your life - good and bad? I believe mine changed. Perhaps, some of them. One perfect example is drinking (alcoholic drinks).

When I entered college, it was when I started drinking socially. I got drunk a few times too - not a pretty site to see. I really didn't see anything wrong about it. Until God changed my heart about it when I started walking seriously with Him. He convicted me about it and without any hesitation, I decided to stop. He made me realize that I didn't get anything good from it. 

Either you believe in the Bible, being the final authority in your life or if you don't believe, need not to worry.  You can't find any verse in the Bible that says drinking is a sin. But getting drunk, of course, just Google verses about it, and you will see there are a lot. 

But it doesn't mean that because drinking is not a sin, we just freely do it. We always have to consider the people around us. If you have a friend whom you know is struggling with alcoholism and still you continue to drink, or if you have a friend who gave up drinking and you still force that person to drink, then that's a different story.

Romans 14: 13- 18

13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. 14 I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. 15 If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

We all believe in different things. We stand up for something because of different reasons.  It's truly difficult not to judge others if we measure it against our beliefs. I, myself, is sometimes guilty of it. But I'm just grateful that God didn't give us the task to be the judge of this world (well, we can never be qualified with our imperfection). As Romans 14:12 says, " So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God."  Not ourselves to others. 

I pray that with what I believe in, I will not cause anyone to stumble. Not to judge, but to accept and love just like what Jesus did for me who is imperfect and a sinner.

To God be the glory! :)

28: Discipline

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, 

    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Hebrews 12: 5-6

At a young age, my siblings and I understood very well what discipline is. My father was a disciplinarian especially when it comes to our studies. We were not allowed to watch television on weekdays. We were not allowed to get grades below 80%. It's non-negotiable. No excuses. And so, it taught us to really take our studies seriously. And I was grateful for that. Because I won't be where I am now if my father didn't really push us to give our best.


And as I started working and living independently, discipline has to come from within me already. I need to practice it. And most of us would agree, it's not very easy. As for me, it takes God's grace to really be able to live it EVERYDAY. 


How about God's discipline? Have you been in one? I'm very much encouraged with the whole chapter of Hebrews 12. Days have been tough for me recently. Mentally & emotionally. But I know this is God's way of disciplining me, molding me. It's up to me to submit to His discipline. Well, I'd rather submit. At some point in my life, I've totally ignored God that it brought me to a much painful journey. So now, I'd rather obey because as always, God knows what's best for me.


They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. - Hebrews 12: 10 - 11

In Quietness, In His Presence

I read Psalm 131 tonight. And I felt my heart speaking the verses. For quite a while, being calm and quiet has been my weapon in facing certain things in my life. It's not because I'm afraid but because I chose to submit to the Lord. Right now, all I want is just to enjoy my walk with Jesus. And at this time, it is a walk of quietness and stillness with Him.

My heart is not proud, Lord,

    my eyes are not haughty; 

I do not concern myself with great matters 

    or things too wonderful for me. 

But I have calmed and quieted myself, 

    I am like a weaned child with its mother;

    like a weaned child I am content.

Israel, put your hope in the Lord

    both now and forevermore.

I don't know why. But I'm starting to get poetic lately. I just usually express myself through my journal, pouring out everything. But lately, God inspired me to be poetic. :) He certainly does! So, I'll just grab it while the bubble is there. :) I got inspired reading those verses that I made a few lines of mine.

In the midst of clamor,

I chose calmness.

For my mind to ease

and my heart to rest.

In Your Presence, O God

my soul finds peace.

What else would I ask,

when you are enough?

[Journey on Waiting 5] Going poetic

As I was going through blogs about waiting, I've somehow made reflections that I would want to express it in a poem. :) It's been so long since I wrote a poem. That last one I believe was in college. Here goes my freestyle poem writing... Haha!

Why wait?

-------------------------------

Why should I wait?

When they say,

that all that matters

is today?

Why should I wait?

When they say,

things can happen

without delay?

Why should I wait?

What's the deal?

Well, my Maker told me,

"For I am God, you be still."

What's the point of faith?

What's the point of hope?

What's the point of tomorrow?

If we don't wait?

What's the point of grace?

What's the point of the cross?

What's the point of salvation?

If we can't wait?

Don't focus on waiting.

But fix your eyes on the Blessing.

For the Blessing in waiting,

is a relationship with a King!

Happy Waiting! :)

A Time of Rest

Two weeks ago, my friend Rhodes and I decided to get away from the busyness of the city and go to a prayer mountain. Thanks to Rhodes who came up with the plan because I've never been to any prayer mountain. 


We went to Touch of Glory Prayer Mountain in Antipolo City, just through public transportation. When we were close to the place, there was a strong downpour of rain. Instead of getting disappointed because of the weather, Rhodes and I were just laughing inside the jeepney until we got off walking to Touch of Glory. It was like, "What are these two looking-lost women, on a heavy downpour doing in Antipolo?" :D Well, nothing can rain in our parade, not even rain! 


When Rhodes was asked by the guard what was the name who made the reservation, the guard could not find her name. Haha! You know why? See below. That's why. Haha!  Ciudad became Solidad. Haha! :D

The place has dormitory rooms, separate for girls and boys. They also have air-conditioned rooms which are good for maybe 2 to 3 people. But we preferred the dormitory since it's cheaper and we will just stay for one night. What I like in the place is the prayer cells. It's the perfect place to have a quiet time, prayer and devotion. Sleeping is not allowed. :D Rhodes and I did our night time devotion in our own prayer cells.

They have a canteen with home-cooked meals that you can buy. So, food is not a problem. The next day was sunny and so we were able to have our morning devotion at the prayer garden. And did some pictorials too! Hehe!

The best part of our stay there was the quality time that we spent with God in a very special way. Away from thoughts of work, from internet, from texts and calls. No distraction. My spirit was very much refreshed. The next best thing was to be able to have a heart to heart talk also with Rhodes. After our night time devotion, we both stayed up talking about everything in our lives. Family, ministry, work, matters of the heart, etc. Such a blessed time, indeed.


I'm looking forward for more get away time from the city. It's important that we take some time to just drop everything and have real REST, to be renewed and refreshed with God and His Word. 

"There is a time for everything,

    and a season for every activity under the heavens." 

 Ecclesiastes 3:1

Thanks Rhodes for bringing me to the place.

Broken Nail

I never thought I would learn a valuable lesson from my broken toe nail. 

One of my big toe nails was cut into half. Yes, nicely cut into half. :) Because of it, I couldn't wear sandals when I go out because it looks weird. The only way is to cover it with a nail polish. And while  I was putting a nail polish, realizations were made... hehe...

I compared our heart to my broken nail. Just like it, even if I cover it with a polish, underneath it, it hasn't changed. It is still broken. It will look nice again when it will start growing back  to a new one. I realize our heart is also like that. Sometimes, we tend to hide or cover up all negative emotions in our hearts, thinking that it will be fixed eventually. 


Truth is, until we allow God to give us a new heart, we can only keep pretending.

Anyway, my nails are still covered with polish, for the meantime. :) Hopefully, it will grow to a new one soon. :)

Ezekiel 36:26, "I will give you a new heart..."

spot my broken toe nail :D

28: love & wait

I'm 28. On Monday, I'm turning 28. Some may think, at that age, I should be getting married, or if not, at least be in a relationship and settle down before I get 30.


I'm 28. Even before I turned 25 or 26 or 27, I've been complete as a person. Since I learned to practice the word, "surrender", I became complete. In Christ, I am complete.


I'm 28. I am single. Yes, I've never been in a romantic relationship. As they say, "No Boyfriend since Birth". But, it doesn't mean I don't want to be in a relationship.


I'm 28. I'm a believer of waiting for God's best. Yes, I failed at one point. I've had my own share of being heartbroken. Not all may know. But, it didn't make me stop believing in love. It made me better.


I'm 28. As I continue looking up to the Author of love, I will never be tired of waiting. I will always enjoy romantic movies. No bitterness. Just waiting.


I'm 28. And if I'll meet him when I'm still 28 or when I'm 29 or 30 or whenever, my first LOVE will always be my first. And I hope it will be the same for him too.


I'm 28. A woman captivated by the heart of God. Beautifully waiting. 

HE answers.

As my days here in Canada are getting shorter, I've been reminiscing a lot, starting from the day I got here. Funny, I have in my cute journal my first 19 days here in Canada. 


Day 1 - Had my first dinner at Pho Century. Oh, I will miss their spring rolls!!!!
Day 2 - It was rainy. Hmm...I think I won't miss rain much. But, the cold weather for sure. Hehe...
Day 3 - First day of work and I believe I immediately had a severity 2 issue.
Day 5 - Purchased my yellow strappy Aldo sandals which I haven't worn much here. But, I will for sure in Phil. 
Day 12 - I cooked carbonara. Haha! Which I believe was the second to the last real food I cooked here. Haha!
Day 14 - Picked fresh flowers in our backyard. I will miss spring/summer!
Day 19 - My first Regeneration at Coastal Church. Definitely will  miss Coastal...awww...


Coming here to Canada was not just an opportunity for me that was dropped at my doorstep. Coming here was an answered prayer. I prayed for it because of two reasons: 1) to help my family in terms of finances 2) to find my self again. It wasn't just an idea that came to my mind. God impressed to me to pray for Canada and so I did. December of 2009, I asked God to give me a confirmation before the year ends if  He really wanted it for me. And before I went for my Christmas vacation, my supervisor gave me the good news. By faith, I claimed it knowing nothing could hinder His plan for me.


And now that I'm going home soon, I kept thinking back those reasons why I wanted to be here. Amazingly, God made both happened and more. My family as I mentioned before is in a debt-free zone already. Even though I earn more here, I realized that God never wanted me to depend on His resources but on Him. That will be a different story, though. :) And as for me, God made me a better person. I can really say, I am definitely changed because of His great love and compassion. I found myself in God and deeply understood who I am to Him. I believe that's the most important.


Canada will always be in my heart. That's for sure. I will always be grateful to God for allowing me to come back here. I never thought I would. But because it's never about me, it has always been about Him and His plans and purposes that's why I'm here. And even that I'm going back, it will still be about Him. 


All glory to my Heavenly Father.

You gotta have faith!

For the past two weeks, the name "Jeremy Lin"  has been seen and heard in all forms of social media. He has become a sensation to both basketball and non-basketball afficionados. People cheer and applaud for him for different reasons. As for me, I applaud for him not just because he really plays well but for his boldness and being vocal in sharing his faith. Every end of his game, he knows who he is playing for.  His faith brought him to this great breakthrough in his life. If he had given up basketball and didn't trust that God would give the best for him, he could have missed this blessing. Indeed, faith can move a mountain.  (Matt 17:20)

While reading all the stuff about Mr. Lin, I've been reading in parallel the story of Brother Andrew. Unlike Jeremy Lin, not a lot would be familiar with him. But his life is one great testimony of faith too. I wish I could just put all his faith stories here (check the book God's smuggler). He is God's smuggler of Bibles to countries that restrict it. He had crossed many borders just trusting that God would make the guards  not see the Bibles. And, indeed they didn't! On times that Brother Andrew would need provision, blessings would just come from everywhere without even asking.  One of his stories that really struck me was when his friend told him that he should learn to drive because he would need it someday. He didn't have a car that time that's why he never learned driving. But so he did. Until one day, another friend of him gave him a car for his mission trips.  Indeed, faith is sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  (Heb 11:1)

This next story is my personal story. When I started working, I got excited with credit cards. Not all gets approved when you apply for one and I was happy that I was. And then, one was not enough that I got another one.  Until I came to a point that I realized my salary all went to payments for my rent , cards and my day to day expenses. I could not even save, all the more, tithe.  In short, I was in debt dilemma. And from there, I made a faith goal that before the year ends, I will have all my cards cut. Not only that, I have to start tithing along with paying more than the minimum due of my credit card bills.  With my salary that time, I just didn't know how to do it. But I just trusted that God will take care of any unplanned expenses. By faith, I gave my every first to Him. And amazingly, even before the half of the year, I had my two credit cards cut! Indeed, faith can deliver you! (Luke 12:22-31)

God is at work in all of us in different ways. We may not be famous like Jeremy Lin, but in God's eyes, we all are famous to Him, our Heavenly Father. Just so you know, your faith in Him counts big time as it counted for Jeremy Lin or Brother Andrew.  I just remembered in the session that I attended last night by Dr. Caroline Leaf. From the words of a scientist, she said, "Have faith."  

 "Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too." - Mark 11:22-25

New Year

Psalm 139: 23-24

The Message

 ^23-24 Investigate my life, O God, 

      find out everything about me; 

   Cross-examine and test me, 

      get a clear picture of what I'm about; 

   See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— 

      then guide me on the road to eternal life.

These are my verses for the year. It is my prayer to God that He will continue to search me and test me, to know my heart, to guide me and see if there's anything wrong in my life, to lead me to the life that He wants me to live. 

I'm excited of what God will be doing for me this year. I will be going home after 3 months, and I don't know how things will be when I get back. But, I'm really excited. I know there will be a lot of changes this year. I'm looking forward to that too.  :) 

Happy New Year!!!!!!

Amazing Grace

If you will see my previous blog, I was very much looking forward to this month. Aside from the reason that it's a Christmas month, it is somehow a downtime also for me at work. I'm always on a vacation during December but this year I just decided to stay. With much looking forward, unexpected and unplanned things happen at work. My hope of having a downtime and just being able to enjoy all December events somehow turned the other way. At the start of the month, I got so busy with work. I missed my target date of sending out cards and gifts. I am a bit behind in buying Christmas presents. I wasn't able to do some personal things. And, even if I was in the party yesterday, I still missed half of the party. And today, I was suppose to attend a big event at the church, but I can't because anytime I will  be in a bridge call again. This wasn't what I imagined how my year would end. 


But don't get me wrong. I'm not grumbling or complaining. I love my job and I know sometimes there are things that we need to sacrifice like personal time. At the end of the day, when I feel so exhausted, or even at the middle of the day, and I would just take a restroom break at work. I would just talk to God, telling Him that He knows what's going on, and that I'm tired, but I just trust Him. I always look back on how my day went and I would always be in awe. Because I know that I would never make it without Him. I'm not the best or expert in my job but I always try to give all my best, binding it with prayers. I always ask God three things every morning before going to work - sustaining grace to make me go on without grumbling, wisdom to provide good decisions when needed and guidance not to do anything wrong that would cause more problems. And amazingly, God made me finish each day this week well. Tired but fulfilled.


Busy and challenging days aren't over yet. It just started actually. But another thing I am also grateful for, are the people around me. I'm blessed that the people whom I needed help to accomplish my tasks don't make things more difficult for me. And of course, the Edson guys. I'm blessed to have them around. They would bring me food on days I skipped meals at the office. Help me in the chores that I was suppose to be doing. Provide inputs on technical stuff.  And just cheer me up when I look so exhausted. 


As always, I just want to thank God for being my Rock and my Helper.  Indeed, there is nothing I can accomplish apart from Him.


How about you? How has God been working in your life lately? 


I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. - John 15:5

Being Cautious

Today, I had some thinking of what had happened for the past days, on people that I'd interacted with.  


Then, I was reminded by God of this verse -  “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’" (Matthew 25:40)


And, it was like an ouch! Many times I forget that what I do or say to someone, I'm doing it to the Lord. And I feel bad thinking about it. I tend to forget that God also cares for the people around me. If they get hurt because of what I do, God feels the same hurt for them. I realize how insensitive I am on how God would feel towards my words and actions.


I'm not perfect and I know I've hurt people without me knowing it. I hope that they will forgive me for it. I pray that in every person that I would talk to, I would see Jesus in them. That way, I will be more careful with what I do and say. I know it's never easy especially if pride or selfishness will try to take over. I just have to look up, continue looking UP.

God at my work place

Every time something good happens with my work, I would always look back to the time on how I landed into this job. And it has always been a great reminder for me that it wasn't my doing. Everything has always been God's doing. Most people may not know, but each day, I wake up always having this feeling of being nervous or   this lack of confidence, that I won't be able to do my work well. This makes me depend on God everyday when I go to work. And at the end of each day, I would just be in awe of how God makes me survive that day. It has never been my doing. It has always been God's doing. 


I have so many stories about how God has intervened with my work. Those tasks which seem so hopeless that all I can do was to pray that God would reveal to me ideas and solutions. And He did. He does. Not just once, but so many times. Indeed, God cares on what we do at our workplace. 


Some may remember on how I felt on my performance evaluation last year. Yes, it did hurt me. But it never made me stop giving my best with what I do. I believed that everything has it's own perfect time. And yes, I got promoted just this September and I got a good rating, which means, I got a raise as well.  :) I praise and thank God for the blessings! I just want to thank God also for the favor of men because only Him can grant that for us. I want to give God the glory and the credit for all the things that He has done for me.


If right now, you feel like you don't have any reason to be grateful for your work or you're not happy with what you're doing, I encourage you to start asking yourself - what motivates you? 


Colossians 3:17
 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Duty or Delight? - Week 6

I finished week 6 on the second week of July. Going through all the sessions had really helped me big time. Week 6 talked about victory. It was a reminder for me that no matter what, I have been victorious when I received the Lord Jesus in my life. He has won all the battles even the future ones for me. I just have to live that victorious life.

As I close this journey, I could not really show how God has really been amazing for the past months in my life. But, really, He has been. I am overwhelmed. It had been an interesting ride. It was journey that I had to walk alone with God and it was a life changing one.

Now, I continue my life looking forward to more interesting journeys.

I just want to leave again this verse, Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Always, always delight in the Lord. :)

Duty or Delight? - Week 5

I had finished Week 5 about two weeks ago. I just had the time now to write about it.


Week 5 I must say is my favorite week. It's about L-O-V-E.  And, that week was really special because the message totally made a huge impact with the way I think and feel towards the things that I've been dealing lately.


But anyways...I just want to talk about God's love.


Have you ever tried comprehending or understanding the love of God for you? I tried sometimes. But, we just can't right? We can never find the right words to explain it. Instead, we just accept it and embrace it wholeheartedly. I know how much God loves me. He greatly displayed His love through our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.  And, He did that for all of us. But, what's nice about our Father? He never stops showing His love. He is just so sweet! 


During this week 5, God has revealed to me something that really changed my heart. I must say, He spoke straight to my heart.  I just found myself, not thinking, not analyzing, not questioning but peacefully trusting, accepting and smiling. I was in awe! That's the right word. I felt God working in me, just loving me. :) 
(And now, I'm smiling again as I'm typing this.)


As God loves us, teaching us what love is and how to love, we should also respond to that love. But, as simple as it may sound, it is not that easy. That's why He commanded us to love Him. 


Loving God means worshiping Him through spiritual disciplines and serving Him. We could do that, right? How about loving God means loving the person that you can't stand to be with? Well, that's hard, isn't it? That's why Jesus made it also a commandment, to love our neighbors. 


God taught me 'Forgiveness' in a very hard way...always the hard way. But, it made me better. It has taught me to love God more. It has even made me understand more of God's character, the great Forgiver. 


How about you? How has God been teaching you about loving Him lately? Obedience is an act of love for God. Do you agree?


Deuteronomy 6:5 
"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."

Duty or Delight? - Week 3

When you are so down to the mouth, it's really comforting and encouraging when you are reminded of God's character and of who He really is in your life. If you will agree, it is really when we have adversities in our life that we come to know Him more in a very personal way. 


Since week 3 of my D or D journey, I have started praying the same prayer Paul had for the Ephesians. 


"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints..." - Ephesians 1:17-18


Are you always amazed of God's faithfulness? I am. Everyday. Every end of the day, I would just look back and wonder how I survived that day without grumbling. I can't help but praise God and thank Him for His faithfulness that no matter what, He will sustain me. But what amazes me more? - God's faithfulness even if we grumble or disobey Him. I'm just glad that He is not like us. He always keeps His promises even if we are unfaithful to Him. Remember the story of Israel? 


I remembered one blog that I read saying that I am not that powerful to influence how another person would behave. Well, it's true. We never have the power to change or transform a person. Only God could do that. And we could only be transformed through His Son, Jesus Christ. Why do we need Jesus? Because God knows that no matter what, we will continue to disobey Him. There's nothing we can do to live up to His standard and that's why He made a way for us. I'm just glad that God made a new covenant. How about you?


I want to share these verses to you: Ezekiel 36:26, Psalm 86:11, Jeremiah 32:39. I hope you'll look them up. They all have one thing in common - heart. Do you know why God said in Prov 4:23 that above all things, we should guard our heart? Because He also said that the heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9). That's why it is important that we always walk in God's protection. It is only in Him that we will have the strength to truly guard our heart. But what if you're heart right now is shattered? I suggest you look up those verses. God can give you a new heart. Isn't that amazing?


Because God always protects us, He will always hold us together even if we really wanted to just give up. He will never let go. Jesus is described as the chief cornerstone because He is the foundation of the church. He unites us all. He is the Rock that will never be destroyed by any force. Are you standing on the strongest Rock? If not, you might want to throw that rock. It's never too late.


One of the things I really struggle with is memorizing verses in the Bible. It's really good that we have a weapon that we could use to defend when the enemy attacks us. Jesus promised us the Holy Spirit. In John 14:26, Jesus said, "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." The Holy Spirit will always remind us even the verses that we thought we don't know to overcome any temptation. 


If you will be asked what is your greatest inheritance, what would your answer be? How about God? The one who chose you before the creation of the world, who redeemed you by sacrificing His Son, who remains faithful, who transforms and protects you, who strengthens you. God is my greatest inheritance and no one could ever take that from me.

i picked up this rock at english bay so that i will be reminded 

WHO I am standing on