Monday, April 30, 2012

Sentiments

 Just pouring out.

I feel like I'm going through another phase of emotional dilemma again. I was hoping I will be okay. But looks like I'm still not.

I want to do something but it would hurt other people. If I won't do it, I will continue hurting myself instead. If I would, would it be selfish of me? Not that it won't cause me pain too.

I am confused. I have a lot of questions. I have a lot of things to say. But, I'm tired. I just want to keep quiet and silently deal on things. Do you think what would be okay? Is it too much to ask?

I want to ignore things and just go on with life. Do you think that's possible? Handle pain as much as I can until it becomes normal?

I am scared. Truth is, I need courage. I need to be more faithful. I need to be more trusting. Knowing that doing the right thing is always the best thing, it may not seem to be at the moment, but soon it will be.

I want to go away. Start anew somewhere. Live freely.

--someone--

Thursday, April 19, 2012

28: love & wait



I'm 28. On Monday, I'm turning 28. Some may think, at that age, I should be getting married, or if not, at least be in a relationship and settle down before I get 30.


I'm 28. Even before I turned 25 or 26 or 27, I've been complete as a person. Since I learned to practice the word, "surrender", I became complete. In Christ, I am complete.


I'm 28. I am single. Yes, I've never been in a romantic relationship. As they say, "No Boyfriend since Birth". But, it doesn't mean I don't want to be in a relationship.


I'm 28. I'm a believer of waiting for God's best. Yes, I failed at one point. I've had my own share of being heartbroken. Not all may know. But, it didn't make me stop believing in love. It made me better.


I'm 28. As I continue looking up to the Author of love, I will never be tired of waiting. I will always enjoy romantic movies. No bitterness. Just waiting.


I'm 28. And if I'll meet him when I'm still 28 or when I'm 29 or 30 or whenever, my first LOVE will always be my first. And I hope it will be the same for him too.


I'm 28. A woman captivated by the heart of God. Beautifully waiting.