Duty or Delight? - Week 2

Week 2 was a less painful week. God has slowly been changing my mind and heart on how I see things. It was a sweet week! I got refreshed with God's Word and He gave me a 'kilig' feeling for the past days. I remembered the words of my friend and I re-phrase it - God just knows how to make you 'kilig' especially at your brokenness. :)


I was made to reflect this week on the Body and Blood of Jesus. As the author Tammie Head says, "Eat more Bread, Drink more Blood".  


Are you familiar with the story of the Israelites and on how they were freed by God from Egypt? Do you know what one of their problems was? Dissatisfaction. God promised them a land that would be full of riches but they couldn't wait. In the middle of their journey, they kept on complaining. Can you relate to them? I can. At some point, we all want to be free from something that we've been struggling but we are not willing to go through the process of pain. We want to be satisfied instantly. Who doesn't?


I've been reminded this week of Jesus being the Bread of Life (John 6:35). I understood why Tammie said eat more Bread. Because only Jesus can give us the bread that will never make us hungry. It is only in Jesus that we will be satisfied no matter what circumstance we are in. 


And what's another good news? That no matter what, God accepts us because we've been covered by the Blood of Jesus. I'm guilty of feeling 'guilty' when I feel that what I do for God is never enough. I realized that I was trying to do a performance in front of God which He really doesn't need. What God wants is a heart that delights in Him. It doesn't matter what is our position when we pray, either we sit or stand or kneel. It doesn't matter how we worship Him, either we lift our hands or we just close our eyes. Our heart is what matters to Him. It  doesn't matter if our past if so messed up. If we accept Jesus in our life, His Blood has covered those already. And when the Father looks at us, He accepts us through Jesus. Isn't God amazing? :)


I learned two things: 
Guilt leads to Performance
Conviction leads to Repentance


Which one is yours?


I pray that I will fully enjoy the rights and blessings of redemption that God has offered to us through Jesus Christ. And I pray, that it will be your prayer too.


As I ended week 2, I celebrated the Body and Blood of Jesus through a personal communion. It was actually my first time to do this. I should be doing more of this. You should too. :)

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." -- Ephesians 1: 7-8

Duty or Delight? - Day 3 and 4

You might be wondering what's with the picture.  Most of you might not know that I have huge burn mark on my right leg. If you'll see in the picture, those darker brown areas are the marks. I had them when I was 2 or 3 years old I think (I can confirm that with Mama). Yes, I got burned at a very young age. It's somehow the reason why I seldom wear shorts or skirts or dresses. I just don't want to show my mark.  A short story about it? It was because of a very hot water. Our helper asked my sister Amity to transfer the water to the thermos while she's watching me. Well, she sat me on the table just beside the thermos. So when Amity was pouring the water, it spilled and the water went down to my right leg. The rest is history.       

            

Day 2 and 3 of my journey on Duty or Delight was about shame and fear.    My sins made me hide sometimes from God because I got ashamed of what I did. At the same time, I also fear for the outcome of my sins. I realized these reactions are nothing new. Adam and Eve hid behind the trees to cover up their nakedness. They got ashamed. But, God didn't want them to hide forever that's why He made them garment. I was once again reminded of what Jesus did for me in the cross. He became the covering of my sins so that when God looks at me, He will see the Lord Jesus. He will not see my brokenness and messy life. The enemy will always make us feel ashamed and fearful that's why it's very important that we will always look up unto our Savior.

Do you know what is amazing about God? And will forever amaze me? That He has chosen us despite the person that we were becoming. That's why there is no reason for us to feel obligated , to feel insecure, to feel ashamed and to be fearful.  Because no matter what, He has already chosen us.  That will not change anymore. 

I was deeply moved by God tonight that I just jumped off from my bed and made Him a card. I want to share what I wrote to Him. 

The reason why I showed my burn mark is because I don`t want to hide it anymore. I`m not ashamed of it anymore. It`s a reminder of how I had fought that pain and endured it. Starting today, I`m not allowing my failures, my shortcomings, my pains and brokenness in the past hinder me in coming to God.  I was handpicked by God already before anything else. I just want to move forward with a heart that is not in a duty for God, but a heart that delights in Him.

I encourage you to delight in the Lord too.

1 Peter 2:9

But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests,a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.

Duty or Delight? - Day 1 and 2

Just a background of what Duty or Delight is...


It is a book I purchased online from Life Way store. It is a 6-week journey book of knowing where you stand with God which is based on the Scripture of Ephesians 1:3-23. It is pink and I love it! :) But more than that, it is a book which is totally applicable to the journey I'm going through right now. A journey of re-discovering myself. And knowing where I stand with God is the best way to start it. By the way, the author of the book is Tammie Head. You can google her or the book if you want. :)


The first week talks about the different pitfalls of feeling being chosen by God. I realized that I'm totally into those pitfalls. 


Day 1 was about the first pitfall which is twisted theology. There were these 2 check boxes in the book. I felt sad when the box I checked was that I felt I was the one pursuing God. The other check box was that God was the one pursuing me. I was reminded by Ephesians 1:4 that God has chosen me even before the creation of the world. That it wasn't because of who I am, but because He has already planned of pursuing me even before the world. Isn't it sweet? :) 


Day 2 was about the second pitfall which is my insecurity. Do you ever have that feeling that what you're doing for God is never enough? That if you just miss a day without reading His Word or doing your quiet time, you feel guilty and you felt like you've totally failed God? Sad to say, but I do. And I realize that there is nothing I would do that could lessen God's love for me. When I read Genesis 3:7-10 - it was when Adam and Eve hid behind the trees because they got ashamed of their nakedness, then when I read Genesis 3:21 - God made garments of skin for Adam and Even, my heart crushed. I realized how insecure I am with God's love. At the same time, I became in love with God more. God would still want me even if I'm broken. 


Day 3?? It will be on my next blog. 


I just want to praise God for giving me the chance to be better, not by my own effort, but all because of His love and grace through the Lord Jesus Christ.


:)

[Journey on Waiting 2] the "perfect" pair of shoes

When was the last time you purchased a pair of shoes? My latest was I think a month ago - a pair of red wedge shoes as you can see in the left. I thought they were cute and they really looked good with my feet when I tried them. :) And what's nice? They didn't cost much. So, I bought them. 


When I tried them in the store, it felt comfortable until I really used them. :( The first time I used it, few walks were okay. But as I walked longer, my feet started to feel pain already. And I ended up wearing my flats. Well, there's always a price for comfort. That's why it's not really that costly. 


How about you? How do you select your pair of shoes? Do you have a criteria or a preference? Me, I follow a criteria and sometimes break them just like that purchase I made above. A lesson I always learn over and over - quality and comfort should never be compromised when buying a pair of shoes (especially if you will use them daily or most of the time). There are those which are very pricey but are really of good quality. There are those which are very cheap but after a few months, you can't use them already or those which would just really hurt your feet.  The best shoes could really come with a price and would sometimes even take longer time to find them in the stores. 


I want to use this as an analogy on how we set standards for waiting or choosing the right person that we want to spend our life with. When people ask me what I'm looking for in a guy, common comment I get is that I'm too idealistic. My response always is - Nothing is impossible with God. I'm trusting Him for it. I'm not waiting for a perfect person - that is true idealistic! I'm waiting for the person that God has put in my heart to wait for. And I encourage single women who have been on the journey of waiting to never make your non-negotiable become negotiable just because of what other people tell you or just because you got tired of waiting.  One of my non-negotiables? Someone who loves God more than anyone else, even more than me. Too idealistic? I don't think so. Because he will never understand my passion and love for God if he doesn't.


Why don't we treat relationship like buying a pair of shoes? Sometimes, our feet are luckier because we would really purchase the best for them. Why don't we wait for the best person that God has prepared for us? And while waiting, why don't we become that best person too? You might be asking if the one I've waited has come why I'm writing all these stuff. My answer is no, not yet. I'm still on the same journey as some of you are. But, it's not just really waiting for that person. It's really waiting on Jesus. Preparing to be the best person that I can be, primarily, for Him. 


These past days, I got more excited to continue this journey as I believe that the process itself is what God wills for me and not just the outcome. I hope that you would also have the same excitement as you journey with God on waiting.


God bless! :)


Psalm 27: 13 - 14
"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

art of letting go

For sure, when you saw the title, one thing just came into your mind. Letting go of a person in a romantic point of view. Well, I hope I won't disappoint you because what you will be reading is specifically not about it, but who knows you can still relate to it.  :)


There are things in life that you wish can just be the way they are till you want them to be. But when those things do not make you better anymore as a person, God will hit you so hard that He will ask you to let go. Even if the process if painful, you just need to trust God that He is sovereign and He would always want the best for you. 


One day, when I look back and read this, I know I would say that it was worth it...because choosing God is always worth it.

Commit everything you do to the Lord.

      Trust him, and he will help you.

 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,

      and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

Psalm 37:5-6